Rawblood Review

Mary Hopewell goes to live with her cousin

Spring

Mary rudely doesn’t die of consumption

Mary is sent to Italy with Miss Brigstocke. Hopefully she’ll die there.

Mary meets Reverend Comer

Reverend Comer gets heatstroke on an excursion. Mary flags down William Shakes who takes them back to his master’s house

Mary meets Don Villarca. He’s evil but handsome. Whatever will Mary do?

Reverend Comer tries to propose to Mary but Miss Brigstocke thinks not

Mary’s mum’s ring is missing. It must be at the evil handsome man’s villa!

Don Villarca visits Mary. Fun icebreakers: He was abused as a kid and the only thing she really cares about is Rawblood, her childhood home

Don Villarca is evil and handsome at Mary and she is so into it. He says he’ll come round

Miss Brigstocke sends Don Villarca away, saying Mary will die if she marries. Mary thinks he ghosted

Autumn

Don Villarca is back. He asks Mary to marry him. The Villarcas are cursed, the Hopewells are also cursed. He bought Rawblood for Mary. They learn each other’s first names. She agrees to marry him

Leopoldo Villarca tells Mary about Miss Brigstocke being a bit sketchy

Miss Brigstocke finds out Mary lied about the ring being missing to lure in Leopoldo. Be more desperate, Mary…

Miss Brigstocke tells Mary she’s seen her future and this marriage ends in death for generations

Mary and Leopoldo get married

Mary gives birth to Alonso

Mary sees the ghost when out on the moor with Alonso. She goes a bit mad

Leopoldo disappears. He’s found dead in a bog with his eyes clawed out

Mary burns her own eyes out with a poker and dies. Such a metal ending for such a basic bitch

Reverend Comer has a conversation with a down-on-her-luck Miss Brigstocke

Brigstocke blackmails Comer to hide his association with the Villarca drama. You go, Brigstocke, get that cottage in Scotland

Charles Danforth meets Alonso Villarca. Alonso is so handsome and enigmatic

Charles and Alonso set up a lab in their home to do blood experiments

Charles and Alonso are degenerately in love. Charles is an insecure little bitch and thinks the only way to keep Alonso is to ruin him

Charles and Alonso agree to a 50 day experiment, testing medication on each other. Alonso microdoses Charles with arsenic to test immunity. Charles gives Alonso a life-long opium  addiction. Get therapy, Charles!

Alonso leaves their home and med school

Meg Danforth stops sending Charles letters because he never replies. She’s being beaten by Mr Bantry, her guardian. Mrs Bantry teaches her witchcraft. Meg is a natural

3rd October 1881

Charles gets the train to Rawblood. Alonso has been away from England for 20 years. He is sick and wants to continue their work

4th October 1881

Charles sees the ghost in his window. He apologises to Alonso for that bad thing he did

6th October 1881

Charles and Alonso start doing some hideous things to rabbits. For science!

7th October 1881

Charles meets Henry and Robert Gilmore

8th October 1881

Charles gets a letter from Mrs Bantry saying Meg is too much of a handful to keep. He really hates thinking about Meg at all. Such a dick

9th October 1881

Henry shows up at Rawblood with a dying Robert. Alonso won’t let anyone in. Charles fixes the kid outside and yells at Alonso. Alonso is high out of his mind

18th October 1881

Charles follows Shakes to Mary Hopewell’s grave. Charles realises he’s being drugged and freaks out

19th October 1881

Charles kills all the bunnies. Alonso admits to drugging Charles to keep the ghost away. Charles diagnoses Alonso as a psychopath and locks himself in his room with the dog

20th October 1881

Charles sees the ghost. The dog dies of fright. Charles and Alonso go to bury the dog. They get high together

Charles and Alonso kiss. Charles leaves Alonso his diary, asking him to take care of Meg. Charles hangs himself. This book buries its gay almost immediately

November 1881

Meg hides from Mr Bantry. He finds her

Meg experiences her brother’s death as it happens (the timing of this is wrong, Catriona. Get a better editor, babe). She offers to guide him to the afterlife. Charles doesn’t deserve Meg even a little

Mr Bantry sexually assaults Meg before Alonso can come save her. So much trauma, so little time

August 1883

Meg walks barefoot from her school in Kent to London to ask Alonso to marry her. He agrees. Fun fact: She’s 18, he’s 42 and was in love with her brother. The book wants me to think Meg/Alonso is endgame and I absolutely refuse

Between 1883 and 1899 Meg has three miscarriages. Heartbreaking

January 1899

Meg realises she’s pregnant for the 4th time. The ghost comes to visit her

Meg is pro-ghost. They devise a plan to make sure this baby survives. Step 1: Meg fucks Robert Gilmore, who is now the butler at Rawblood

August 1899

Meg does some witchcraft with Robert’s hair

Meg sexily nibbles off one of Robert’s toenails for witchcraft purposes. This is the biggest mystery in the book: HOW? How is that sexy? How do you not notice someone is biting off part of your toenail, sexily or otherwise? I demand answers

Meg escapes Rawblood to give birth outside. She gets lost in a storm

Shakes finds Meg in the storm. She leads him to the cave and does magic on the altar

Robert dies

Meg wakes up after giving birth but she’s blind. She holds her daughter, Iris

The ghost is gone. Meg gives Shakes back his sight. He was blind for the Meg arc, literally only for this plot point…

September 1899

Chloe, the maid, is pregnant with Robert’s kid. Meg sends Henry Gilmore money to raise the baby as his own and sends Chloe away to have the baby in secret. Meg gets all psychic and makes Alonso promise to look after Chloe’s baby

October 1899

Chloe gives birth to Tom Gilmore. Meg starts to get her sight back

November 1899

Chloe is getting married. That’s nice, I guess. This is really only to explain the existence of Frank later. Eugh, Frank

December 1899

Meg sees Iris for the first time. Suprise! Iris looks like the ghost. Meg freaks out and bleeds to death. RIP my favourite witch

Chloe gives birth to Frank. No one cares, Frank

Iris Villarca meets Tom Gilmore. Alonso tells Iris that the Villarcas are diseased so she can’t have friends

Iris and Tom save a dying foal. Alonso is mad about it

Tom takes Iris to the magic cave with an altar that lets your loved ones live forever. Iris sees the ghost and freaks out. She’s sick and thinks it’s the disease

Autumn 1913

Alonso tells Iris the disease is actually a ghost that kills their family when they fall in love. Oh and also they get sick if they’re away from Rawblood for too long

Winter 1913

Iris wants to be a doctor and is taking skeleton lessons from Martin Goodman

Iris and Tom get together. Iris goes to tell Alonso and he freaks out and chases her. She accidentally kills him with his opium needle. He gives Iris his mother’s ring and sees the ghost as he dies. Iris gives the ring to Tom and sends him away

Iris is in Earlswood asylum. She bites a mean nurse. They keep her drugged out of her mind. Creepy Martin is here. He’s holding her letters from Tom hostage. Such a piece of shit

Creepy Martin has moved Iris to a private room in the asylum that has serial killer basement vibes. He gives her a bunch of studies about lobotomies. She agrees

Iris has lost any sense of time. She realises she’s actually been lobotomised 3 times. They also sterilised her. Fucking horrific

Tom sends Iris one last letter. He leaves her ring on the altar in the cave

Rawblood burns down. Shakes supposedly dies. He’s like 120 years old at this point and they don’t find the body. Shakes might be eternal

Frank is taken to Earlswood because he lost his leg in the war. He sees Iris on the crazy lady side of the fence

Frank hooks up with Lottie, the nurse, and tells her about his mum

Iris dies. Lottie arranges to have her sent to Tom’s farm. She puts his last letter to Iris in the coffin

Frank is released from hospital but realises his existence is completely pointless so is going to kill himself. Iris hits him over the head and steals his uniform

Lottie finds Frank and tell him about Iris

Iris in a stolen soldier’s uniform, with very spotty memories and Tom’s last letter, is on a train home to Rawblood. She dreams about Charles walking under the cedar tree

Iris gets off the train a stop early to avoid being caught. She dreams of Mary and Alonso lost in the mist

Iris goes to Tom’s house. She dreams of Mary with the hot poker

A coffin is delivered to Tom. He’s devastated. He sees Iris outside. She runs away to Rawblood

Iris attacks the ghost in Rawblood. Surprise! It’s a mirror. She loses it and kills everyone, every time.

Tom digs the grave. He talks to Iris all night

At dawn, Iris slips away. She sees her and Tom in the cave as kids. She sees her mother giving birth to her. She sees the cave, empty, with her ring on the altar

Tom finishes burying Iris. That’s a sad, lonely boy

White light death ending cliche